Myself and I

I know the title is shitty and unimaginative. I have no idea how I got myself into this, into this affair. It's been a year now since I've been dating Miss A and I'm just getting to know M now. I'm here because I have no escape,      I got 'discovered', taken to a shrink, forced to live A, but I'm still here and I want more. I admit I was in denial until the last few weeks, but putting a label to this affair has only made me closer to it. I'm under treatement now, but while dating A I've become smarter, more manipulative, and I'm willing to take the risk and remain going out with her. As a part of this 'healing' process, I had to gain, however I'm the same and all I want is what we all do, lose.