Not giving up

Remember the sandwich I told you about, that disgusting thing they were going to make me eat? I managed to throw it away, all down to the toilet, I'm not missing my day with Ana after all :) I gotta go to the exam now, Ana by my side, I'll sure succeed. Hope you have a nice rest of the day!

Frustration blues

So my family 's screwed up my plans with Mia, I have an exam today and my mum insists that I eat something before it. She's probably giving me a 500kcal sandwich which has chicken, pita bread and mustard, ugh I'm throwing up already. I guess I'll purge that when I'm at school. The rest of the day is going to be starvation, for me being a bad, bad girl. I have an appointment with the doctor today, she'll sure weigh me but I have a trick that always works: water. I'll drink about 4l of water before I leave, which makes me weigh 4kg heavier that is just water weight I'll lose when I pee lol Take notes on that! I don't even wanna weight myself,I feel like shit, fat and ugly, and tomorrow school starts again, I might be around 95lbs cause I now I've gained :/ Hope you have a better day than mine as always!

Mia's here to stay

So I didn´t want this, this was expected to be the perfect day with Ana, it wasn´t. I had an exam early this morning,as soon as I got up my mum had breakfast, nasty breakfast ready for me, binged. In a hurry before going to school I purged everything I could. I came back home,my fucking meal was ready and I had no excuses not to eat, I ate then purged all I could. Evening was hell as well, I had to stay home therefore, my mum watching all I ate, ate two crackers, purged. See the thing with my parents is that ever since I've been diagnosed they are all over me, following every single step of mine, it's disturbing. Anyways, I'm proving I'm on a whole upper level, with Mia by my side and Ana watching my back, nobody can ruin me bitches. That was a rude way to describe my family, I just noticed that but I've come to the conclusion that anyone standing between my relationship with Ana is my enemy, they don't know what I feel like, they are never going to be inside my head to know how happy Ana makes me, and how mad she gets when I'm not doing things the right way. I only hope you had a better day than mine. Bony kisses,

Her Evil Royalty
By the way: tomorrow's gonna be a great day, I have a date with Ana during the whole day :) Coffee, coffee, coffee, yay!

Hello this is Mia

So I've started cheating on Ana, she won't be mad because it's Mia. I had to purge yesterday, not really a great binge but there was pizza at home and I was force to have dinner with my family. I ate two damn slices and purged after 20 mins or such. I couldn´t help it, just the feeling, the smell, of pizza was repulsive and I was not going to keep that shit in my body. I'm gonna starve today, so far no breakfast, no lunch, no fucking tea time. Here's a tip: pretend you are going out for lunch with someone, have some cigarettes and plenty of thinking and voila! It's my favourite trick, I get time to be alone with my thoughts and my stomach's noises, which I love. I weighed myself today, I'm 93lbs now even though I binged and purged yesterday, however, I won't stay cool calm and collected, there's still work to do.I'm going out with a friend now, she knows I have an ED but she's never forced me to eat, if we happen to go to a bar I'll just have plain coffee.

Myself and I

I know the title is shitty and unimaginative. I have no idea how I got myself into this, into this affair. It's been a year now since I've been dating Miss A and I'm just getting to know M now. I'm here because I have no escape,      I got 'discovered', taken to a shrink, forced to live A, but I'm still here and I want more. I admit I was in denial until the last few weeks, but putting a label to this affair has only made me closer to it. I'm under treatement now, but while dating A I've become smarter, more manipulative, and I'm willing to take the risk and remain going out with her. As a part of this 'healing' process, I had to gain, however I'm the same and all I want is what we all do, lose.